My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
