what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
