Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
