So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
