Where did you get a picture of my penis
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
