Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
