Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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