Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize