You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
