Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
