If i come over, it means nothing
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
