Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
