too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
