Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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