Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
