We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
