why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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