The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize