Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize