u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
