there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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