I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
