Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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