I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
