If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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