In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
