their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
