i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
