Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize