i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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