You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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