do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
