when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
