her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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