Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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