is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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