Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
