just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
