the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
