i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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