He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
