when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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