Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize