everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
