a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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