Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
