he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
