It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize