He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
