We named our party play list daddy issues
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
