thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
