I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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