This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
