Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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