Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
soo... how was my night?
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