bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
