I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
did you just send me my own nude
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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