I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
