When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
