Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
