her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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