hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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