I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
