Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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