I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
