Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
