awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
