I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
