it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
