Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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