Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize