Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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